Home Remedies

Of course this is from my mom:

Did You Know That Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."
Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer . Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly -- even though the product was never been advertised for this use. (Note: Alka-Seltzer P lus Cold Medicine is not the same..and contains aspirin, which can cause stomach bleeding if you have ulcers.)
Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.
Listerine therapy for toenail fungus... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
Easy eyeglass protection.. To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
Coca-Cola cure for rust... Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.
Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.
Smart splinter remover..just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried g lue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue. Hunt's tomato paste boil cure....cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.
Balm for broken blisters...To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine ... a powerful antiseptic.
Heinz vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour.. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.
Rainy day cure for dog odor.. Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.
Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing. Quaker Oats for fast pain relief...It's not for breakfast anymore! M ix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.


Grandma points the way.

Also from my mom, (who isn't in the picture, although she is the type.)

Ladies, that doesn't mean you're number one.



This joke was sent to me by a co-worker.

"Mint Flavored Birth Control Pill"

The Cadbury's Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co.
Have combined to market the new Mint flavored
birth control pill that women may take immediately
before sex.

Large major drug store chains and Wal-Mart's Pharmacies will distribute The Pill.

They're going to be called.........

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

The part of this email that I actually think is the joke is the part where Wal-Mart would be willing to distribute the new pill.


Drunks with Guns

Got this from Brad K.
Photobucket really shrunk it.
Remind me to stay very far away from Texas.
So.. if you really want a gander at those fellas, I put it on Image Shack.
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us


Want Ads

From my mom:
What the hell were these people thinking?

Stupid Photobucket shrunk the ads! Here they are, a bit bigger.
Not as Ick as the Used Toilet Paper, but still Ick.
I believe this one.
Holy Moly
In Ickyness, this is between used toilet paper and used dentures.

Yep. Another one.

I sometimes get the silliest emails; mostly from my mother, and since I hate forwarding stuff, I thought I would just put them all in one spot and not fill up someone else's In Box.